So I was traversing the internet, minding my own business, innocently kicking at clods of animal feces like usual, when all of the sudden this happens:
Now, I’m no stranger to conspiracies, heck, I’ve probably carried out more than the average lion’s share. But let’s break down this syphilitic stream-of-unconsciousness.
0:02 – <killer death stare>
0:04 – “Zuckerberg is part of the LO0MiNarTy!”
0:10 – I highly doubt right-wingers and left-wingers say the “same thing”, but ok. When you’ve got a gab account, a frog twitter, a Trump banner, crying about ‘globalism’ and 900% of your posts are about ‘EVIL LEFTISTS’ AAAAAHHHHH!!!! then yes, you’re alt-right. *ahem*
0:22 – “I DISAVOW! DISAVOW!” pretty smart move now that alt-right and neo-nazi became synonymous. I mean, I get it. I really do.
0:27 – “I’m too cool for school” Yeah, I’m not on either political side or a member of any party either, but hey, if he can call me a ‘leftist’ then I can call him ‘alt-right’, fair’s fair, innit?
0:33 – “he just keeps on tweeting at me” just like he kept tweeting back but.. do… you… know.. how.. twitter.. works? To be fair, the fact that I kept tweeting at him is pretty solid proof that I’m an idiot.
0:38 – oh boy.. here we go.. welcome to the asylum
0:48 – “ALL Leftists are pro-pedophile and YOU are a Leftist therefore YOU are a pedophile”
NARRATOR: “they were not, in fact, pro-pedophile.”
0:52 – I’m not your dude, guy.
0:54 – Oh, he put up a video about it? Well, I guess that proves everything, doesn’t it?
0:59 – Tim Poole, well-known pro-establishment Illuminati globalist /sarcasm
NARRATOR: “it was, in reality, a right-wing hoax by Jack Posobiec.”
1:04 – “LEFTISTS ARE PRO-PEDOPHILE. PERIOD”. This sort of declarative statement is where his head is going to explode. Since I, Breshvic, am not pro-pedophilia, and he keeps asserting I am a leftist, something in his programmed brain will not compute.
1:10 – I’m not your guy, bro.
1:18 – “sniff sniff, you don’t even know me, how can you say I’m a bunch of insulting awful things, you moron idiot retard dumbass!?”
1:23 – “NOTHING’S BEEN DEBUCKED”
1:30 – “Salon put up a guy who was a pedophile” whatever that means, I’ll be generous and say they published such a person. So does Salon represent all the Left now? Because I’ve disagreed with them many times. Also, I’ve seen their articles disagree with each other. Almost as if lots of different people write or are aggregated there, some legit and some bullshit. Almost like no singular person, group or publication speaks for the entire left. Almost like nuance exists (*it doesn’t for conspiracy nuts)
1:33 – “you know dat blog, Salon.com?” OMFG he sounds like my granddad talking about ‘I go on the websites”
1:40 – this is where he starts to really veer off-topic, as all conspiracy nuts do, and is forced to make the argument about something else, a sort of combination of strawmanning and reductio ad absurdum. We were talking about one particular incident, and now it’s about all of Hollywood (did you know ALL of Hollywood were pedophiles? better not watch any movies or TV ever again)
1:43 – Kevin Spacey is a creepy rapist and has been resoundingly rejected by the left, by others in Hollywood, by everyone, and anyone who still supports him is trash. Next.
1:44 – Harvey Weinstein is a creepy rapist and has been resoundingly rejected by the left, by others in Hollywood, by everyone, and anyone who still supports him is trash. Next.
1:45 – “and ALL THOSE PEOPLE, aren’t they pedophiles too?” uh, some may be but most humans living in Hollywood, I would conjecture, are not. The implication that they are is pretty fucked up. Next.
1:50 – “aren’t there so many leftist pedophiles in Hollywood?” he’s either intentionally or stupidly conflating sexual assaulters and pedophiles, both of which are deplorable pieces of shit. But this new trend of calling abusers out en masse, or as abuser Woody Allen called it ‘a witch hunt’, is actually something I’m in favor of! Publicly shame and blacklist the fuckers, and prosecute their crimes. Next.
1:54 – He left out Anthony Weiner, who is a creep who sexted little girls and is rightly in jail for it. Yes, there are sexists, abusers, harassers, and pederasts who enter politics. Both Democrats and Republicans (who he conveniently gives a big pass, despite not being a ‘right-winger’, hmmmm), are capable of such heinous activity, and have been caught. And I’ll say the thing I say about 99% of all politicians… arrest them. Next.
1:58 – so now Hillary Clinton is a pedophile. What are you, Rosanne Barr? This fella probably buys every single nonsense or debunked conspiracy theory about the Clintons, like they have *70 BODY BAGS IN THEIR BASEMENT!* PIZZAGATE SETH RICH BENGHAZI JADE HELM… hey man, I have puh-lenty to criticize the Clintons about, and I do. I mean, I really, really, really do not like the Clintons. But I don’t have to believe in unicorns to criticize ’em. I use… hmm.. what are they called.. oh yeah, objective reality-based facts.
2:03 – Jeffrey Epstein is a pedophile, and he was also friends with many powerful people, not just the Clintons or Podesta. One of his closest, in fact, was Trump, who bragged about partying with him and that they shared a love of ‘beautiful girls’ and whom may, according to a least one lawsuit from a Jane Doe, have taken part in rape of a minor with Epstein. Never proven in court, though, just like the many ridiculous claims about the Clintons never have been. Epstein, however, is designated a lifelong registered sex offender, but IMHO should still be rotting in prison.
2:10 – The Vatican is leftist now? Well, arguably, current “Woke Pope” Francis is further to the left than any pope before (though still supports some fairly conservative agenda, as most of the Vatican does), but all those pedophile priests and the wretchedly evil cover-up was undertaken before Francis, and the Catholic Church is hardly a paragon of progressivism.
2:13 – “On the left and right there’s pedophiles”, oh, well, isn’t it fair to give a SINGLE passing mention to that fact. Aren’t you generous? Funny, though, that while rare examples of pedophiles can be found on both ‘political sides’, he only believes that the ‘leftists’ are pro-pedophilia and have some massive international conspiracy to promote it, never the right. Doesn’t seem very balanced to me. Ignores the comments from Milo Yianniannianniannopoulos. Or the very long list of Republican sex offenders. It’s almost as if these sexual predators aren’t one political side or the other, but are just drawn to positions of power in every institution so they can continue their abuse.. hmmm…
2:20 – a year ago I put up a YouTube video about Trump that was actually a joke about the game Fallout. But it’s pretty clear that this is a guy who doesn’t actually read/watch things all the way to the end before drawing conclusions, or does much of a deep dive analysis about anything.
2:30 – I don’t really care to fearmonger, as the sensational nature of the video should have been obvious to any non-nutjob watching it. To be perfectly honest, I forgot I even made it!
2:35 – “just like you have right-wingers who want to fearmonger about everything”, oh, you mean like the right-wingers and alt-right accounts who for over a year now have been trying to push the absurd claim that ALL LEFTISTS ARE PEDOPHILES or ALL LEFTISTS ARE ANTIFA AND ANTIFA ARE ALL DANGEROUS TERRORISTS? Yeah, you’re right, such fearmongering does sound pretty ridiculous.
2:41 – “I’m not Alright!” Yes, we can tell.
NARRATOR: “It had, in fact, been debunked.”
2:54 – “It will never be debunked” yeah, that seems like a statement from a clear-headed rational person who is open-minded to new evidence and willing to change their mind when a theory is falsified… oh wait, silly me, no it sounds like a crazy conspiracy nut.
2:56 – “Anonymous fuckin’ revealed it”, oh, well, there ya go. If some anonymous people with Guy Fawkes masks on the internet “revealed it” then it has to be true, right?
3:00 – “So many people” so many people that he names one of them.. so many…
3:05 – Wasn’t attacking. Just calling it like I see it. But ok. You feel attacked. Sorry.
3:08 – I’m not your bro, dude.
3:10 – “I really don’t care. I don’t care SO MUCH, in fact, that I tweeted back at every single one of your messages with a petty insult and then made this video to rave like a lunatic about it!” *ahem*
3:12 – “I don’t give a shit in the least… I’m just sick and tired of…” Uhmmm.. what?
3:22 – “If you wanna watch.. you’re in idiot.” This is a fair point. If you want to watch this guy, you (myself included) most likely are an idiot. I’ll own that.
3:34 – “You said you went through all my tweets, bro” Uh, yeah, it’s easy. Are you telling me you can’t read over 308K tweets in ten seconds? Don’t you have access to a time machine? You mean you DON’T?? Pshht. Loser.
3:45 – “You just want to label everyone an Alt-Right person” yeah it must suck to have people label you something unfairly, like assume you’re a leftist right away after only having said like five words. Or assuming they even know a person or their politics or stances that quickly. Or to label and generalize entire groups as pro-something-heinous, in a very politically motivated and one-sided way. MUST SUCK, huh?? WONDER WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE.
3:50 – I will freely accept that I am a dumbass. My older cousin and I call each other this all the time. My ass is so stupid it even fell asleep once. How stupid can one ass be?
3:54 – I will! (My entire artistic output can be accurately described as ‘dumbass shit’)
3:56 – I’m a phony now? What are you, Holden Caulfield?
4:02 – a note about the ‘SJW’ remark. For those that don’t know, SJW stands for ‘Social Justice Warrior’, an insult that right-wingers made up to blanket any and every progressive person they see (Black Lives Matter, feminism, LGBT, you name it). While I would agree that there are those on the internet and on the left who are fueled by too much outrage, who are hypocrites for not letting people speak on their campuses, etc., I never understood why calling someone an ‘SJW’ was an insult. “YOU CARE ABOUT SOCIAL JUSTICE!” Uhm… okay. Damn, I feel so burnt by that. The stereotype of a ‘crying, whiny, outraged SJW’ has been pushed by the Alt-Right and RWNJs (right-wing nutjobs) for years now, but over those same years I’ve seen so much crying, whiny outrage from the Right about everything from ‘the scary evils of political correctness’ to ‘our poor widdle Confederate flags being taken down’ that it really reinforces to me that RWNJs are the new SJWs. They cry about Starbucks cups, Christmas music, child refugees, immigrant babies in hospitals, miscegenation, stand-up comedy, Star Wars and every little thing that triggers their fragile thin white skin. *ahem*
4:04 – He now asserts that *I* am pro-pedophilia. That’s a pretty scurrilous claim, and what makes his entire video fair game. You can tell by this person’s ranting directionless words and eyes that he is not very smart or grounded in sane reality. But you still don’t go around accusing people of being pro-pedophiles. That’s gross. You’re gross. You’re socially gauche and tacky. You disgust me.
4:07 – “Demonic shit”. Oh, never mind, he believes in demons. There’s no reason to take him seriously at all.
4:15 – “I’ll fucking get you, bro” Wouldn’t that require you to actually stand up from your couch you haven’t moved from?
4:19 – WHICH IS IT – YOU’RE GOING TO ‘GET ME’ OR YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT OR DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ME?? We’re really on the edge of our seats here.
4:23 – <so angry and triggered, can’t figure out where the off button is>
Look, dudeguybro, I’m not attacking you. Not really. Most of what I wrote, I was just having a bit of a laugh. I doubt we’ll even ever cross paths again. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t really think you’re Alt-Right or right-wing (despite the PLETHORA of stuff you’ve clearly copied verbatim from them, likely unknowingly). You seem like a perfectly nice young man who I wouldn’t mind grabbing a beer with under different circumstances.
This isn’t about you being on the right and me being on the left, because frankly we both have stances that straddle both sides of the aisle, and it would be unfair to characterize the other in such reductive terms. I myself have for years now decried the left-right paradigm as harmful and divisive. If we do have a gulf of difference, it’s in this area: I self-describe as a pro-science skeptic, and you are very clearly a conspiracy nut. I don’t mean any offense, some of my best friends are conspiracy nuts. Nothing really wrong with that, unless you believe in the harmful ones. I think you have fallen for some really harmful ones. I think you’re letting it lead you by the nose. I would, if I were you, try to take a step back from some of those distorted views and really use the scientific method to suss out what is objectively known, and what is biased speculative hogwash. Because you reek of the hogwash.
Again, no offense (and I highly doubt you will ever do this), but it would make you a wiser person. There are some very specific beliefs and words you routinely use that make you seem crazy, not-to-be-taken-seriously, and biased. You seem capable of such intelligence, but falsifying our own views is just as important to good critical thinking as being critical of other views is. Arguably, it’s more important.
Peace to you, friend, and I genuinely do mean that.