Tag Archives: words

All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Arrested Development

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Arrested Development, quite possibly the most finely crafted series ever to hit television screens, is slated to return any day now. With all fourteen new episodes to be released on Netflix at once, we’ve been excitedly re-watching, reading about, speculating and incessantly quoting for months (years) now. And though it seems like this will probably be a standalone run with no plans announced to produce a follow-up movie or further seasons, I hope the executives at Netflix have nonetheless anticipated our anticipation, lest their massive servers be brought down by our cultish traffic. No matter what happens, the Bluths and their Balboa mythos in the O.C. have already indelibly altered our lives and philosophical outlook, for better or worse. Because they understand more than you’ll… never know.

All I really need to know I learned fromarresteddev

  1. Always leave a note.
  2. Feel the hot sting of sweat in your eyes from an honest day’s work.
  3. Curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.
  4. I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
    Arrested Development - Jessica Walter
  5. Never give up animation rights.
  6. Hermano means brother.
  7. Don’t yell.
  8. Never promise crazy a baby.
  9. Vodka goes bad once it’s opened.
  10. You want your belt to buckle, not the chair.
  11. Do not be afraid to ride her. Hard.
  12. It’s okay to take a little something from work.
  13. The blue part of the map is land.
    alg-arressted-develpment-will-arnett-jpg
  14. Do not order the Skip’s Scramble.
  15. Don’t leave the door open with the air conditioning running.
  16. This close they always look like landscape. But nope, you’re looking at balls.
  17. Children should be neither seen nor heard.
  18. It’s the poor craftsman who blames his tools.
  19. You’re gonna get some hop-ons.
  20. Annyong is Hello.
  21. When you can do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have a lot more fun.arrested-development-season-4
  22. It ain’t easy being white, it ain’t easy being brown…
  23. Never touch the Cornballer!
  24. Sometimes a diet is the best defense.
  25. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.
  26. A Fake Popemobile doesn’t stop real bullets.
  27. Wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
  28. Buy all your cars at police auctions.
  29. Buy yourself a tape recorder and just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
  30. arrested-development-tv-shoow-image-blue-tobias-01Don’t pit your sons against each other.
  31. Portugal is in South America.
  32. Take the foil off the ding-dong before putting it in the microwave.
  33. If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a night, but if you teach a man to fish, he’ll want to use your yacht.
  34. Thou shalt protect thy father, and honor no one above him, unless it be-eth me, thy sweet Lord.
  35. The only scary thing about a one-armed man trying to scare someone is the fact that he feels his one arm is only good for trying to scare somebody.

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  1. When life hands you a chance to be with someone special, you just grab that brownish area by its points and you don’t let go no matter what your mom says.
  2. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or cocaine candy.
  3. If there’s still plenty of meat on that bone, take it home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.
  4. The jury is still out on science.
  5. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo’s said she used an IUD.
  6. Faith is a fact.
  7. You gotta lock that down.
  8. British Parliament has three Houses.
  9. If you have a son, either take him to the cabin in the woods, or promise to take him and then not take him. But never not tell him that you’re taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.
  10. Don’t teach lessons.
  11. NO TOUCHING!
  12. Life is about making difficult sandwiches.
  13. Family is the most important thing.
  14. Breakfast is the most important thing (of the things you eat).
  15. There’s always money in the banana stand.
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In-credible

Nobody I know refers to my exploits and stories as incredible, but if they did, I would know that they would mean, as opposed to not really being that credible or credible-sounding. We now accept that ‘incredible’ is just so incredible that it has to be credible!

Doctors and patients refer to pain as incredible, adventurers refer to incredible feats of derring-do and strength and bravery, C-3P0 refers to incredible odds. and the president tells us that the challenges are incredible, but not impossible or insurmountable. That is, perhaps we shouldn’t believe him, but we should. At least the droid, (C3P0, not Barack Obama), may have still been using the word correctly.

The Hulk is Incredible, and we all certainly believe in him.

in·cred·i·ble/inˈkredəbəl/ adj.

  1. Impossible to believe: “an incredible tale of triumph”.
  2. Difficult to believe; extraordinary: “the noise was incredible”

I’m all for defining words as they are held in common usage and, more importantly, practical understanding. If you demand that hard definitions of words must stand, then reach down deep within your twisted panty line, and using your thumb and forefinger, deftly grasp the embedded nub and slide the rigid stick from your bowels. But when confusion arises, even for pedantic bloggers, there may be a problem.

In the first example, I stated that my acquaintances never refer to my exploits as incredible, but not because they aren’t. In fact, my stories and feats have no credibility at all. And often on a scale that makes them and me, incredibly incredible. Instead, my friends never lend me any credence, so incredulous are they.

Oh, it is to laugh.

(whether you call it a meme, a soundbite, a catchphrase or a hook…)

Y2K
ipod, podcast
wardrobe malfunction
social networking
Axis of Evil
youtube
ghettofabulous
google
re-up
hot coffee
stem cell
dot.com
viral
wii
hot in herre
wee-wee’d up
dick in a box
IED
player hater
netflix
whaaazup?
omg
LOLz and lolcat
helicopter parents
goatse
aggro
flashmobs
rickroll
trippin’
‘tururism’
hot mess
crunked
pre-emptive strike
That’swhatshesaid
neocon
Added, friended, unfriended
wiki
final answer?
sexting
app
nahmean
balloon boy
strategery
spider-pig
2 girls 1 cup
brokeback
insurgency
internets
sparta
persistent vegetative state
flipflopper
jackass
grand theft auto
birthers
known unknowns
negs
gaydar
anthrax
death panels
subprime
butterface
drones
weakest link
H-WHAT?” “YAY-YUH!” and “OH-KAY!
octomom
swiftboated
series of tubes
autotuning
keyboard cat
l33t
slumdog
Elián
Katrina
Pootie Tang
FEMA camps
cake is a lie
served
git r dun
counterterrorism
chillax
skeevy
shibby
preggers
energy drink
onoyoudi-int
like sheesh
shawtie
fareal
‘dro
woot
mission accomplished
bling
meh
holla back
Drop it like it’s hot
shenanigans
random
faded
ganked
i can haz
how we do
all your base are belong to us
nevernude
blitzed
star wars kid
pwn
shiznit
lady lumps
do it to it
word.
torrent
MILF
shoulder lean
peanut butter jelly time
wigger
baller
dangling and pregnant chads
blog
numa numa
hi-def
WMDs
ridin’ durrty
meetup
tagged
Tivo
indie cred
ginormous
business time
Misunderestimate
truthiness
emo
sudoku
red ring of death
ochocinco
9/11
global warming/climate change
surge
hipster
speed dating
smackdown
muffin top
DVR
whatevs
border wall
peeps
milkshake
G20
giggity giggity goo
hug it out
threat level orange
prepper
tweeted
Booyakasha
credit crunch
status update
more cowbell
digital natives/immigrants
hella
blue ray
cougar
on lock
nappy headed hos
bromance
shock and awe
voted off
H1n1
swine flu
bird blue
mad cow
n00b
mclovin
epic fail