Arrested Development, quite possibly the most finely crafted series ever to hit television screens, is slated to return any day now. With all fourteen new episodes to be released on Netflix at once, we’ve been excitedly re-watching, reading about, speculating and incessantly quoting for months (years) now. And though it seems like this will probably be a standalone run with no plans announced to produce a follow-up movie or further seasons, I hope the executives at Netflix have nonetheless anticipated our anticipation, lest their massive servers be brought down by our cultish traffic. No matter what happens, the Bluths and their Balboa mythos in the O.C. have already indelibly altered our lives and philosophical outlook, for better or worse. Because they understand more than you’ll… never know.
All I really need to know I learned from
- Always leave a note.
- Feel the hot sting of sweat in your eyes from an honest day’s work.
- Curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.
- I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
- Never give up animation rights.
- Hermano means brother.
- Don’t yell.
- Never promise crazy a baby.
- Vodka goes bad once it’s opened.
- You want your belt to buckle, not the chair.
- Do not be afraid to ride her. Hard.
- It’s okay to take a little something from work.
- The blue part of the map is land.
- Do not order the Skip’s Scramble.
- Don’t leave the door open with the air conditioning running.
- This close they always look like landscape. But nope, you’re looking at balls.
- Children should be neither seen nor heard.
- It’s the poor craftsman who blames his tools.
- You’re gonna get some hop-ons.
- Annyong is Hello.
- When you can do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have a lot more fun.
- It ain’t easy being white, it ain’t easy being brown…
- Never touch the Cornballer!
- Sometimes a diet is the best defense.
- It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.
- A Fake Popemobile doesn’t stop real bullets.
- Wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
- Buy all your cars at police auctions.
- Buy yourself a tape recorder and just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
- Don’t pit your sons against each other.
- Portugal is in South America.
- Take the foil off the ding-dong before putting it in the microwave.
- If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a night, but if you teach a man to fish, he’ll want to use your yacht.
- Thou shalt protect thy father, and honor no one above him, unless it be-eth me, thy sweet Lord.
- The only scary thing about a one-armed man trying to scare someone is the fact that he feels his one arm is only good for trying to scare somebody.
- When life hands you a chance to be with someone special, you just grab that brownish area by its points and you don’t let go no matter what your mom says.
- A trick is something a whore does for money. Or
- If there’s still plenty of meat on that bone, take it home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.
- The jury is still out on science.
- Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo’s said she used an IUD.
- Faith is a fact.
- You gotta lock that down.
- British Parliament has three Houses.
- If you have a son, either take him to the cabin in the woods, or promise to take him and then not take him. But never not tell him that you’re taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.
- Don’t teach lessons.
- NO TOUCHING!
- Life is about making difficult sandwiches.
- Family is the most important thing.
- Breakfast is the most important thing (of the things you eat).
- There’s always money in the banana stand.
Posted in List, Philosophy, Quotes
Tagged advice, all i need to know, all i really need to know, arrested, arrested development, bluth, buster, caged wisdom, carl weathers. j walter weatherman, development, everything I need, gob, learn, learned, list, lucille, may, michael, netflix, philosophy, quotes, return, season 4, season four, to know, to learn, to live by, tobias, wisdom, words, words to live by
Nobody I know refers to my exploits and stories as incredible, but if they did, I would know that they would mean, as opposed to not really being that credible or credible-sounding. We now accept that ‘incredible’ is just so incredible that it has to be credible!
Doctors and patients refer to pain as incredible, adventurers refer to incredible feats of derring-do and strength and bravery, C-3P0 refers to incredible odds. and the president tells us that the challenges are incredible, but not impossible or insurmountable. That is, perhaps we shouldn’t believe him, but we should. At least the droid, (C3P0, not Barack Obama), may have still been using the word correctly.
The Hulk is Incredible, and we all certainly believe in him.
- Impossible to believe: “an incredible tale of triumph”.
- Difficult to believe; extraordinary: “the noise was incredible”
I’m all for defining words as they are held in common usage and, more importantly, practical understanding. If you demand that hard definitions of words must stand, then reach down deep within your twisted panty line, and using your thumb and forefinger, deftly grasp the embedded nub and slide the rigid stick from your bowels. But when confusion arises, even for pedantic bloggers, there may be a problem.
In the first example, I stated that my acquaintances never refer to my exploits as incredible, but not because they aren’t. In fact, my stories and feats have no credibility at all. And often on a scale that makes them and me, incredibly incredible. Instead, my friends never lend me any credence, so incredulous are they.
Oh, it is to laugh.
Axis of Evil
hot in herre
dick in a box
LOLz and lolcat
Added, friended, unfriended
2 girls 1 cup
persistent vegetative state
grand theft auto
H-WHAT?” “YAY-YUH!” and “OH-KAY!
series of tubes
cake is a lie
git r dun
Drop it like it’s hot
i can haz
how we do
all your base are belong to us
star wars kid
do it to it
peanut butter jelly time
dangling and pregnant chads
red ring of death
global warming/climate change
giggity giggity goo
hug it out
threat level orange
nappy headed hos
shock and awe