Tag Archives: time

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Maltese Falcon In Seven Minutes

thestuffthatdreamsaremadeof!

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A trip down memory link

Oh, I couldn’t go an ENTIRE YEAR without you, LJ! But I almost did.

I blame the future. Inexorably roiling, rolling, crushing down on us like the accumulation of so many dirty, unclean… socks?

Look up a few things on the internet from your past. Think about:
*The person you were back then, compared to this person you are at this place now.
*How has your philosophical outlook on the world changed?
*Can you even be said to be the same person, if most of your bodily cells have been replaced, your mind totally (hopefully!) altered, the pulses of your brain rerouted, and the electrons of the World Wide Web that preserve that former you replaced by exact duplicates JUST AS SOON AS they bolted into existence in the first place!
*Are old pictures and posts of your friends the same people?
*What is your proudest moment and why?
*What is your most shameful moment and why? Have you left it recorded? You should, this is arguably more important than the last. Never throw away the shittiest parts of yourself. You’re only deluding and depressing the future you, looking back for comparison.
*Now, slightly less ignorant than you were then, are you equally less blissful? Or about the same? Can you even remember?
*Are your frames of reference so changed that they are too errant a slide rule to use with any degree of accuracy?
*Do the posts or pictures by your friends muckrake some nearly-foreign memory? Why is it so alien to you? Why was it so important to them, but you nearly forgot it? Check that, you DID forget it, but for this little exercise.
*Are there things from Ye Internet of Olde that you remember that no longer exist? Old forums, pics, joke sites, geocities pages, references, or perhaps video before video… Why do you remember them? Why were they important enough? Why are they gone?
*Would you go back to that antiquated system of tubes? For a day, a week, a year?
*What if you had to give up all the memes and references you now know the internet has produced? (Maybe especially then)
*How did you think of the world back then, through the lens of technology at that point? Frustrated at the slowness of dial-up? The poor quality of pictures? The difficulties of such rudimentary interglobal communication? Has the alleviation of your frustration been at equal pace with the rapid development of these technologies?
*Perhaps you were nonetheless optimistic; so many sharing common interests, showcasing new ideas and concepts, embracing both simple quirks and commodities as well as new and complex modern issues,
larger and larger communities reaching out, exploding, connecting their wildly spinning randomly splitting tendrils with the whiplash of rubber tautness, old world modalities slowly dying, withering spent and useless facing the hydra.

NOW! QUICK!

Think about the future.

And go to bed.

I ask too much

I ask too much of myself, of others, and of reality. I ask too many questions in general. Generally, I ask too much.

Are thoughts something physical, do they exist without the mind, are they sent to us from some place besides the mind, or do they exist only because we do? Are thoughts simple cells of the brain stimulated with electrical currents leaping from synapse to synapse, dendrites twittering rapidly like birds in heat? Or are thoughts independent of the mind, corporeal forms that remain long after our physical brain has decayed and returned to the matter whence it came?

What is time? Is it an illusion of a series of still images placed over our eyes to tell us that we exist in a single timeline moving forward at some arbitrarily divided measurement system? Does all of time happen within one instant, or is all of reality as we perceive it with no distractions, with no loopholes, with no catches, with no deception?

Is there only one universe, or are there an infinite number of them for all eternity, and how would we know the difference? More scarily, how would we be able to tell the difference between a world dictated by the edicts of free will and one of predetermination? How would we tell the difference between a universe with God and one without Him? And if there is a God, and we were conceived by His mind, shouldn’t our minds have the ability to understand at least part of him, to realize him and conceive him as He conceived us? Is there a collective consciousness, and if so, then I go back to the question of the infinite universes…

If there is such a thing as infinity, then how can two doppelgangers, one evil and one good, exist when one would have to go to hell and one would have to go to heaven? Do they negate each other? Would your evil (or good) twin cancel you out? Where would you go? In an infinite system, there must be no limitations, stipulations, regulations or barriers. Every scenario must and shall be played out, meaning that there must be an infinite number of universes and timelines that directly and incontrovertibly contradict each other into nothingness, as would all of infinity be?

If there is no afterlife, then what is that void? You cannot picture blackness, because that is something, you cannot picture space, because that is something, a black hole is still something, you brain in a jar in the Matrix is still something, and heavenly clouds are still something and what you see when you close your eyes is still something, as is the wolf from the Neverending Story.

And a mathematical paradox occurs to me, infinity and nothingness are semantic opposites, mathematical principles expressed in symbols because they are so abstract that our finite minds cannot understand them in entirety. But it is also logical to say that zero infinity because zero can cancel out infinity, and perhaps that the two are inexorably intertwined, are, perhaps, synonymous? Are they also synonymous with God? All things that we have no solid tactile concept for…

How can you prove/disprove infinity? How can you prove/disprove nothingness? How can you prove/disprove God?

It all answers one question easily, however, and that is the question of why I haven’t been able to sleep restfully for days.