Tag Archives: Revengerists

Olde Times are Goode Times

At the request and behest of our esteemed guest, who arrives just too late and right on, we exemplify how the olden times are the besten times, with music from the turn of the Swingin’ Century, slowly evolving as have our petty mindsets. Some political rations and weird subsidies later, you arrive in the Strangeland.

So stick around for the BONUS segment where fellow Revengerist Dr. Tasty reacts to the show and current events, and lo, the Earth mightily trembles.

PLAYLIST
In The Hall Of The Mountain King – Will Bradley-Ray McKinley Band
For Old Times’ Sake – Annette Hanshaw
Ragtime Regiment Band (1913) – Heidelberg Quintet with Billy Murray
Frog Legs Rag (1906) – James Scott
Original Rags (Piano Roll) – Scott Joplin
Hobomoko – John Philip Sousa Band
Pozzo – Frisco Jass Band
Dixie Jass Band One Step – The Original Dixieland Jazz Band
Alexander’s Ragtime Band – Ethel Merman, Al Jolson, Eddie Cantor, Sophie Tucker
Lady Is A Tramp – Sophie Tucker
Changes – Bing Crosby
Paul Whiteman – The Charleston
Everything Is Hotsy Totsy Now – The California Ramblers
Maple Leaf Rag – Bix Beiderbecke
Down South Camp Meeting – Fletcher Henderson
Night And Day – Django Reinhardt & Stéphane Grappelli
Making Whoopee – Eddie Cantor
Let’s Misbehave – Irene Bordoni
Anything Goes – Cole Porter
You Do Something to Me – Billy May & The Andrews Sisters
Canned Heat (1947) – Chet Atkins
Jolly Banker – Woody Guthrie
Old Blind Sow, She Stole the Middlins – John W. Summers
Death of J.B. Marcum – Asa Martin
I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive – Hank Williams, Sr.
I’m Gonna Move To The Outskirts Of Town – Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five
Juke Box Boogie Woogie Chick – Snookum Russell
Jumpin At The Jubilee – Big Joe Turner
Finger poppin time – Hank Ballard & the Midnighters
The Stuf Is Here – Cleo Brown
Powerhouse – Spike Jones
Rhapsody In Blue – George Gershwin & Paul Whiteman
Frankie And Jonny – Gene Vincent
My Baby Don’t Love Me No More (1957) – Happy Wainwright & The VI-Counts
Red Hot – Billy Lee Riley
Rink-A-Din-Ki-Do – The Edsels
All Right, Baby – Janis Martin
I’m Getting Sentimental Over You – Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
Runaway – Del Shannon

Stranger in a Strange Land 2012-06-16: Olde Times are Goode Times by The Stranger on Mixcloud

Romney blurted out more of his anti-American anti-government anti-populist anti-worker conservative rhetoric. We already know that he “likes being able to fire people,” wants to privatize formerly public fields so that unregulated industries can sap the life from the Public, and now he’s also aiming at “firemen, policemen, and teachers.”

I’ll just say it. Mitt Romney is soft on crime. He’s anti-education, and pro-fire.

Indiscriminate privatization, and the greedy politics of unfettered selfishness, will bankrupt and destroy this economy, this country, and the American people.

All the more reason to believe that the GOP is doing this on purpose.

Be it ideology or stratagem, the GOP has blocked pro-growth policy and backed job-killing austerity – all while blaming Obama.

“The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” -Senate minority leader, Mitch McConnell

Republicans will do anything, including short-circuiting the economy, in order to hurt Obama politically.

Then again, it’s a hard accusation to prove: after all, one person’s economic sabotage is another person’s principled anti-government conservatism.

Republicans have opposed a lion’s share of stimulus measures that once they supported, such as a payroll tax break, unemployment insurance, bargaining against the interests of Americans (or holding their needed public services or national credit rating hostage) to keep tax cuts for the wealthy.

Republicans have made practically no effort to draft comprehensive job creation legislation. Instead, they continue to pursue austerity policies, which reams of historical data suggest harms economic recovery and does little to create jobs.

Meanwhile, a critical document from President Barack Obama’s free trade negotiations with eight Pacific nations was leaked online early Wednesday morning, revealing that the administration intends to bestow radical new political powers upon multinational corporations, contradicting prior promises.

The new leak follows substantial controversy surrounding the secrecy of the talks, in which some members of Congress have complained they are not being given the same access to trade documents that corporate officials receive.

The newly leaked document is one of the most controversial of the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade pact. It addresses a broad sweep of regulations governing international investment and reveals the Obama administration’s advocacy for policies that environmental activists, financial reform advocates and labor unions have long rejected for eroding key protections currently in domestic laws.

But foreign corporations operating within the U.S. would be permitted to appeal key American legal or regulatory rulings to an international tribunal. That international tribunal would be granted the power to overrule American law and impose trade sanctions on the United States for failing to abide by its rulings.

China, of all places, has just released a report on the (lack of) human rights over the past year in the U.S.A. Are we living in an authoritarian society without knowing it? Via China Daily, and they would know!

Whatever the deep reasons for the (Occupy) movement are, the single fact that thousands of protesters were treated in a rude and violent way, with many of them being arrested – the act of willfully trampling on people’ s freedom of assembly, demonstration and speech – could provide a glimpse to the truth of the so-called US freedom and democracy.

While advocating press freedom, the United States in fact imposes fairly strict censoring and control over the press and “press freedom” is just a political tool used to beautify itself and attack other nations. The US Congress failed to pass laws on protecting rights of reporters’ news sources, according to media reports. While forcibly evacuating the Zuccotti Park, the original Occupy Wall Street encampment, the New York police blocked journalists from covering the police actions. They set cordon lines to prevent reporters from getting close to the park and closed airspace to make aerial photography impossible. In addition to using pepper spray against reporters, the police also arrested around 200 journalists, including reporters from NPR and the New York Times

Even the Russians now know our press (non)freedom is a joke:

“They just put handcuffs on me. I tried to tell him that I am a journalist. He pulled out my State Department accreditation and asked whether I have a New York police one. Unfortunately, that one expired,” explained journalist Kirill Belyaninov.

The reporter has been working in the US for the last three years.

“Whatever proof you have – they don’t really care. It’s just business, and your credentials can’t really protect you,” he said.

Sent through a whirlpool -like legal system, the seasoned journalist was treated as a protest participant under arrest. 24 hours behind bars, a quick trial, 600 dollars in fines were his punishment – for doing his job – covering the news of the day. And then there were the two days of community service and six months probation.

It’s just a matter of time before any non-corporate citizen journalist is automatically branded a terrorist. Though we now know that Americans Are as Likely to Be Killed by Their Own Furniture as by Terrorism!

Terrorist attacks killed 17 U.S. civilians last year and 15 the year before.

According to the report, the number of U.S. citizens who died in terrorist attacks increased by two between 2010 and 2011; overall, a comparable number of Americans are crushed to death by their televisions or furniture each year. This is not to diminish the real–albeit shrinking–threat of terrorism, or to minimize the loss and suffering of the 13,000 killed and over 45,000 injured around the world. For Americans, however, it should emphasize that an irrational fear of terrorism is both unwarranted and a poor basis for public policy decisions.

~The Stranger
thestranger@earthling.net

Also, enjoy this BONUS nugget of the Stranger in a Strange Land, guest starring the one-and-hopefully-only Dr. Tasty! The founding members of the Revengerists (Consortium of Stuff) are together again to discuss the minutiae of time distortion, powers, current events, robot apocalypse, world-ending cataclysms, crime-fighting, affinity groups like the Cacophony Society and other subversive underground organizations, and the 10 weirdest urban ecosystems on Earth.

Stranger in a Strange Land 2012-06-16: Revengerize with Dr. Tasty! by The Stranger on Mixcloud

Strange Days Have Found Us

Well, we’ve really done it. Ze Black Waffle and I have returned triumphant from waging the Robot War for the Future against SpaceWeb and its mechanical forces of cold calculation. We are safe from the existential threat of malevolent, artificially-intelligent automata… for now.

Unfortunately, in preventing a horrific potential future from coming to pass, we may have accidentally set into motion an equally-dystopian (if somewhat less lazer-burning) future of corporate takeover and constitutional debauchment! We sincerely apologize if the butterflies we crushed in our reckless traversing of spacetime resulted in the awful offshoot reality of japanese earthquakes, #NDAA, #SOPA, and #DNF (Duke Nukem Forever). Sorry about all that.

I am impassively dedicated to covering the disturbing developments as they formalize and gel into our present, with Mutiny News, twitter, and The Stranger in a Strange Land. We welcome your insights, shared posts, rantings, musings, and dark prophecies, as each unfolding event of doom is rewritten newly before us.

Archived Stranger in a Strange Land shows from the Imperial era are being lovingly polished, annotated, timestamped and uploaded, both on the Mixcloud and on the Stranger‘s own blog of Absurdist Noir. Sadly, the same timequake that causes the fabric of reality to tremble EVEN NOW is also responsible for the loss of several of those archived shows. We soldier on, all of us, into the dark unknown.

For the the most multifarious (that’s multifaceted + nefarious) tunes and freshly-lacquered commentary, check out the Stranger in a Strange Land, Sat. 2am-4am (that’s Friday night going into Saturday mornings). For interviews involving eclectic esoterica, write to thestranger@earthling.net. For general Mutiny Radio coverage, send your aggregated articles, accomplishments, muckraking investigations, and fluffy public interest pieces to thestranger@earthling.net. For that money I owe you, see me next Friday.

Understanding being nothing else, but conception caused by Speech.

The stakes were high, with arbitrary considerations of ‘law’ and ‘justice’ and ‘order’ strained to their definition points. Pulling this single lynchpin, this keystone, this golden spike… might derail a pivotal international plot to highjack all finance, commerce, private ownership, an election, choice, the ability to make total war… the very essence and being of the human race.

Hard was the task before me, to truly understand the confederacy of ubiquitous dark forces, at the most pragmatic moment, in order to graft with them fully, meld slowly as the creaking patient tree amongst the artificiality of a steel-ringing chain-link fence. Grease, moisture, pressure, unbearable turmoil, and then dry-rot set in, leaving only that aperture from whence one entered, shattering the bloated blighted blemishes from their torpid comfort. Stirring and dissolving, hacking away at each other searching for their common enemy, long since gone slinking into the night. Those who remained were easy pickins, but for their evolved sense of survival atop the trash heap, and amalgamation of super-science and evil.

Caught full blast during this janitorial duty unawares by just such frenetic fanatical foes, entrenched in their last ditch fraternity of hostility and subatomic-particle-rearranger ray set to 11, I strained to regain composure, nay, composition, in an all-out knock-down knuckle-dragging denial of all things physical, and a few illicit drugs as well.

It was then that I stared foully deep into the unending maw of universal truth; it was, as awfulness goes, inversely proportionate to the awesomeness of cunnilingus.

O what did I learn, children, and how does simple universal matter, or organic brain cells, or inferior English speech translate it now?

“To understand this for sense it is not required that a man should be a geometrician or a logician, but that he should be mad.”

Necessity dictates that so being is so, so being is so. This so being, being so, is being so also so being? Man, reduced to his natural state, is mere animal. That doesn’t say much for man, but it certainly doesn’t say much for animal.

“The privilege of absurdity; to which no living creature is subject but man only.”

I’ve had people ask me if what I write about in my blogs is ‘true.’ My eyes then glimmer go dinner-plate wide as I stand on shaky legs and pound a fist into the air, rapaciously demanding to know where these people on the bus get off following me around and reading my blogs, and who the fuck they think THEY are.

Honesty and truth: I can honestly proclaim to believe something that isn’t true, if I honestly didn’t know that it wasn’t true. I can dishonestly report a set of truthful facts. If I attempt to be honest, I am good. If I attempt to be dishonest, I am bad. Goodness is contingent on honesty, which leaves truth mutually explusive, which means that truth can very well be evil. It’s better to be any kind of honest than an evil kind of truthful. So then the BEST kind of honesty doesn’t reflect a truthful truth at all. Honest.

“Such truth as opposeth no man’s profit nor pleasure is to all men welcome.”

When I read about the famous words of powerful leaders from around the world, something moving in their speech strikes me. Specifically, conjunctions.
“They’ve now got it.” “As you so choose it.” “Seeing as there is…” If you then speak as such, you’ll soon become a world leader and douchebag both.

“Words are wise men’s counters, they do but reckon by them; but they are the money of fools, that value them by the authority of an Aristotle, a Cicero, or a Thomas, or any other doctor whatsoever, if but a man.”

Acid won’t do anything for you that being stuck under a boulder for a few days in the mountains can’t also. One is just slightly more portable than the other.

“In the state of nature, Profit is the measure of Right.”

I’m not proud of what happened then, as chemistry on a first-name-nucleotide basis and then consciousness slowly wound back into the realm of what can only be assumed to have been a pre-existing condition of reality. I did what had to be done, in that it is what has already happened in the temporal existence of things, it came to be so it had to be, and somewhat vice-versa. Suffice it to say I triumphed over evil yet again.

But at what price?

“I put for a general inclination of all mankind a perpetual and restless desire of power after power, that ceaseth only in death.”

Fraught With Peril

Where has our valiant (and at that quite salient) hero been O these past few months? Bored or boycotting Myspace? In a politically-charged controversial coma/self-induced media blackout/circus? Zoning out listening to late 60’s/early 70’s Psychedelia? Alcoholics Anonymous?  Perhaps he hadn’t gone anywhere, but simply skipped ahead in what you myopically call the ‘timeline,’ but what he prefers to call his own ‘Choose Your Own Adventure Novel.’

I don’t think my mild-mannered employers would have mild-minded that too much at all! And in these engrossing times, the Revengerists have seen every goal completed quietly, thoroughly, awesomely (needless to say), and without the ostentation of one ‘Will Ferrell.’ Having fulfilled its purpOses, and with a lease paid through to 2012, (as the Mayans foretold: ‘yea when all leases shall summarily end’), the Revengerists compound sits, secure and yet absolutely vacant. All but for the occasional janitor, tour group, haunted spirit (built upon a Civil War battleground as it is), or junior members who don’t check their text messages lost in its expansive labrynthine corridors, it echoes still in the night, or the day… depending on the time… that it is… when.. it echoes…

I can tell you one thing, I definitely did not go to Studio 54.

Now, having uncovered an insidious plot of the powers that be effecting the very atoms that make up the whole of our being, I go where none may accompany me. No beloved sidekick, grizzled old vizier, or that cute couch-surfing chick who wanted me to help her with her novel… No. Through a combination of radical research and development, subversive culture-jamming, motivational speaking courses and my uncanny powers of antiphysics, only I can prevail against this slithering hidden evil. As it was writ in Ancient Sumeria, so shall it make for a most excellent riveting dramatic speech of departure…

The Demon of Thought
I Fought, But Not
Armed With Sword or Rapier
With Zeal I Sought and
Peril Fraught, I Brought
His End with Pen and Paper

Everything is nice in Smileyland; and when it isn’t, they kill it with their lasers. Something is rotten in the state of Smileyland.

Chip Can’t Walk in the Fire Without Fire Boots!

I’ve been having trouble sleeping at night for no specific reason. It’s nothing in particular, but a reeling, seething mind full of unanswered questions and a stomach full of rotten four-cheese Cheez-Its. Who really killed the Kennedys? Jacob seems to think that it was Mokèlé-mbèmbé, and I’m starting to agree. Too bad the bastard has a head start on us by forty-four years, two months, two days, five hours and four minutes.
Other questions that haunt me at night: Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? When will the mighty evil enveloping this shrinking universe be seen for what it is and defeated by the masses? Is the inherent nature of humanity one of chaos, fear, ignorance and hatred?
Why are there vegetables?
In other news, that tiger that the po-po* riddled with holes made her way to heaven, despite being bogged down by a cosmic battle with a departed demented bag lady, and the loss of physical form into an ethereal blob of mere concept. Once into the light, she plopped her blobform into the unemployment office, and currently tends bar at the swankiest tiki bar in all the dreamrealm, (i get my Zombies there for the friend price!) In case you were wondering (you sick fucks, you) Heath Ledger went straight to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.
I haven’t heard from Future-Breshvic in a while. That’s probably not a good sign for me. Either I’m dead (done in by some cunning foe or eventual atomic deterioration), or I’m pulling double shifts at work, or I’m keenly smitten with some new flame, they’re pretty sweet on each other and are going steady. Duder! Temporal dopplegängers before hos! Temporal dopplegängers… before hos.
Whatevs, that me is (going to be) a total asshole anyways. Once I showed up in a twisted bunny costume. I told me that I hated that movie, but then I said that in the future I love it and its my myspace page theme. It’s like I don’t even know who I am anymore. And to learn that myspace is still popular a year from now! I am Jack’s clichéd movie quotation.
Hmmm… I wonder if I’ll have a place to live this time next week?
*
Great Scott! The Libyans!

Sounds made up.

Things are so hectic right now. Not only do I have work every day at six am, but I have to get the rest of my stuff boxed up, read six or seven books, write out some plot synopses, finish off this roll of film, defeat an arch-foe or two, fill out this sketchbook, do the laundry, find an apartment, and our Revengerists Compound was bombarded sometime last night by dreaded space Cosbium-14. And I can’t shower today because my dad is grouting.

But tomorrow I am going to the zoo. The same zoo where a tiger escaped and killed a man, where a snow leopard and a polar bear almost escaped in the past week. Since it most likely won’t get published by the several newpapers I submitted it to, here is the article I wrote (unedited in blog form) concerning the tiger. I want to reiterate: we don’t get mad a pie for being delicious.

I had a dream the night of the attack, long before I could know of it, that a tiger escaped from the zoo. But at the end of that dream, I was eaten alive by a hippopotamus. Then I come to find out that the contractors who fucked up the tiger thing are also responsible for the grizzly bears and the hippos. A hippo has a vertical leap of twenty-eight inches. We’ll all see what happens.

Also: If a baby giraffe runs into a wall and kills itself, then that baby giraffe did not deserve to live. Giraffes are lame. End of story.

http://www.theworldwidegourmet.com/?action=recette_show&id=1866&lg=en

NOTE to Future-Breshvic: This Cosbium thing might have put us into an alternate timeline and gang aft agley all our best laid plans. I don’t remember anything being made mention of it when I was in the future, but maybe it was just such a minor setback it wasn’t worth mentioning. Then again, maybe our timelines are so far removed from the ethos of psychohistory that you and I shall never meet, in fact, are DOOMED. Questions. Comments. Concerns. An ashtray. And a paddle ball game. Remote Control. These Matches. And this lamp. And the chair. And my dog.

Possible Side Effects

Unfortunately, with great power comes a lot of nagging, incessant pains in the ass. Considering what my capabilities are actually capable of, I need to be extra careful. It’s like messing with the source code, or randomly deleting files from your computer willy-nilly. And we all know what can happen. Willy. And. Nilly. Time freezing forever! Vortexes ripping the sky asunder! Everything on the planet losing gravity and floating up into space, screaming in confusion and horror! A suddenly created momentum towards a brick wall! Skyscrapers losing mass! Increased density of the oceans! Uncalled for teleportation! The implosion of the Earth and neighboring heavenly bodies upon themselves! The sudden transmutation of all local matter into Beef Croquettes! I have learned that with casual apathy, and NOT keen concentration, I can control my skills with greater ease and less risk (I learned this after many weeks wasted in concentration camp). Certain abilities, like walking on hydrogen molecules, or bending light into various fractals, doesn’t require much, and can be a sort of second thought reaction, which doesn’t result in much mayhem. Sometimes, I think I slip into alternate dimensions unknowingly, where everything is exactly the same except for the conversation I’d just been having. A man on the bus turns to me and continues a conversation that I was not aware that we were having. He says; “But I do like that hat, though. Like I say, you need a big feather for it.” I had to check, but I was pretty sure at the time that I wasn’t wearing a hat is crawfish season, and I’m very excited! Thank you for axing! Oy, I wish I was recreating with some herbal supplements (or CDs) right now. I haven’t exactly talked to Sampson in a while. NOTE to Future-Breshvic: All Systems Are Go.