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All I Really Need to Know I Learned From Arrested Development

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Arrested Development, quite possibly the most finely crafted series ever to hit television screens, is slated to return any day now. With all fourteen new episodes to be released on Netflix at once, we’ve been excitedly re-watching, reading about, speculating and incessantly quoting for months (years) now. And though it seems like this will probably be a standalone run with no plans announced to produce a follow-up movie or further seasons, I hope the executives at Netflix have nonetheless anticipated our anticipation, lest their massive servers be brought down by our cultish traffic. No matter what happens, the Bluths and their Balboa mythos in the O.C. have already indelibly altered our lives and philosophical outlook, for better or worse. Because they understand more than you’ll… never know.

All I really need to know I learned fromarresteddev

  1. Always leave a note.
  2. Feel the hot sting of sweat in your eyes from an honest day’s work.
  3. Curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted.
  4. I’d rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
    Arrested Development - Jessica Walter
  5. Never give up animation rights.
  6. Hermano means brother.
  7. Don’t yell.
  8. Never promise crazy a baby.
  9. Vodka goes bad once it’s opened.
  10. You want your belt to buckle, not the chair.
  11. Do not be afraid to ride her. Hard.
  12. It’s okay to take a little something from work.
  13. The blue part of the map is land.
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  14. Do not order the Skip’s Scramble.
  15. Don’t leave the door open with the air conditioning running.
  16. This close they always look like landscape. But nope, you’re looking at balls.
  17. Children should be neither seen nor heard.
  18. It’s the poor craftsman who blames his tools.
  19. You’re gonna get some hop-ons.
  20. Annyong is Hello.
  21. When you can do this without getting punched in the chest, you’ll have a lot more fun.arrested-development-season-4
  22. It ain’t easy being white, it ain’t easy being brown…
  23. Never touch the Cornballer!
  24. Sometimes a diet is the best defense.
  25. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life.
  26. A Fake Popemobile doesn’t stop real bullets.
  27. Wine only turns into alcohol if you let it sit.
  28. Buy all your cars at police auctions.
  29. Buy yourself a tape recorder and just record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re going to be surprised at some of your phrasing.
  30. arrested-development-tv-shoow-image-blue-tobias-01Don’t pit your sons against each other.
  31. Portugal is in South America.
  32. Take the foil off the ding-dong before putting it in the microwave.
  33. If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a night, but if you teach a man to fish, he’ll want to use your yacht.
  34. Thou shalt protect thy father, and honor no one above him, unless it be-eth me, thy sweet Lord.
  35. The only scary thing about a one-armed man trying to scare someone is the fact that he feels his one arm is only good for trying to scare somebody.

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  1. When life hands you a chance to be with someone special, you just grab that brownish area by its points and you don’t let go no matter what your mom says.
  2. A trick is something a whore does for money. Or cocaine candy.
  3. If there’s still plenty of meat on that bone, take it home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.
  4. The jury is still out on science.
  5. Too many lives have been ruined because some cheap waitress at a HoJo’s said she used an IUD.
  6. Faith is a fact.
  7. You gotta lock that down.
  8. British Parliament has three Houses.
  9. If you have a son, either take him to the cabin in the woods, or promise to take him and then not take him. But never not tell him that you’re taking him to a cabin in the woods and then not take him.
  10. Don’t teach lessons.
  11. NO TOUCHING!
  12. Life is about making difficult sandwiches.
  13. Family is the most important thing.
  14. Breakfast is the most important thing (of the things you eat).
  15. There’s always money in the banana stand.