Tag Archives: doppelgänger

Brother from another Mother (Earth)

I met a doppelgänger of mine from a parallel dimension today on my lunch break. He didn’t explain how he managed to end up in our worldline (it never came up, I only get an hour!) but it did become evident fairly quickly that I was the evil one for several reasons, not the least of which being that he DIDN’T have a beard.

We spoke the same language, though his accent was indescribably different, and we had trouble communicating on some odd, conceptual level. He was far more convivial.

He told me that in his dimension, the rich routinely philanthropize, so much so that there are no destitute or super-rich classes, safe synthetic meats ensure delicious bacon without any animals being tortured, money we would spend on guns and bombs are going towards cancer and free energy research, politicians argue over the most logical and efficient ways to serve the weak and sick, and Adolf Hitler was only a slightly renowned drag entertainer.

He was shocked to discover that our media glorifies violence, but is also frustratingly both perversely obsessed and shamefully repressed when it comes to sex. He seemed to think the internet was a good sign for us, something they have had since the nineteen-twenties. They have had jazz music since the seventeenth century.

All of the water fountains shoot cream soda, as they have found the cures for both diabetes and obesity, or as they archaically remember them, “diabesity.”

There is free health care, but they are not a socialist dictatorship. In their free market economy, the affluent volunteered to pay the higher taxes that they can afford, and every corporation profit-shares with their employees.

When I asked about the Third World he replied that yes, both of our planets were the third from the sun, but being the homeworld, Earth was simply more populated than the solar system’s colonies. I couldn’t bring myself to clarify the question.

He failed to check out the passing perfectly plump posterior of an attractive female, which made me consider my double was a little light-in-the-loafers, but he assured me that in his utopian reality, nearly everyone is bisexual at least at some point in their lives, that they simply don’t view the opposite sex as objects, and that additionally all elected officials are cannabis-smoking voluntary-eunuchs.

There are no suicide bombings or underaged, oversexed Disney pop divas.

Jimi Hendrix is alive and well.

Christianity exists there, but is more of a self-reflective non-judgmental philosophical set of ideals meant to help and love each other, than the self-righteous violent rhetoric meant to control and degrade each other that it is on our plane.

People say thank you, acknowledge each other, and don’t complain when they agree to help one another move.

People are allowed to experiment with altered brain states up to and including death, without governmental criminalisation.

The Cold War ended nearly the moment it began, with heartfelt letters of apology and a good, stiff drink or two.

Pie is the same.

Fascinated by each other’s cultures and technologies, we set a lunch date for tomorrow. I intend to ask him about world peace, the brotherhood of man, and the exact manner of his dimensional travel. Then I am going to kill him, shave my beard and take his place

To you, my otherworldly friend:

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The Slippery Slope

2010-05-15

Spurious arguments made based on extra-solar evidence, obsessions of observations, and a preoccupation with pluriform pseudo-worlds! Where could it all lead? Use your imagination, and there you are.

PLAYLIST
Sounds Incorporated – In the Hall of the Mountain King  – The British Invasion
The Beatles – Besame Mucho  – Artifacts II
Africa – Paint it Black  – Satisfaction: Covers
Gogol Bordello – God-Like  – Voi-La Intruder
Dragstrip 77 – El Vampiro  – Rockabilly Daze
Alice Cooper – I’m the Coolest  – Goes to Hell
Cedric ‘Im’ Brooks and the Light of Saba – Song for My Father
Jerry Garcia Band – Señor (Tales of Yankee Power)  – Jerry Garcia Band
Israel Kamakawiwo’ole – Hawai’i ’78  – Facing Future
Astrud Gilberto – Manha de Carnaval  – Astrud Gilberto: Gold
Tak Shindo – Bali Ha’i  – Ultra-Lounge, Vol. 1: Mondo Exotica
Amnesty International – Free Your Mind  – Cold Heat Heavy Funk Rarities 1968-1974
Grand Funk Railroad – Nothing Is the Same  – Grand Funk Lives
Bobby Womack – Nobody Wants You When You’re Down and Out  – Greatest Hits
Clutchy Hopkins – 4:08  – The Life of Clutchy Hopkins
Earnest Jackson – Funky Black Man  – Product Placement Breaks
Aaron Neville – Hercules  – New Orleans Funk
Parliament – Unfunky UFO  – Mothership Connection
DJ Shadow – Changeling / Transmission 1  – Endtroducing…
Tribe Called Quest – Jazz  – The Low End Theory
Aesop Rock – Sick Friend  – Appleseed
Asheru & Talib Kweli – Mood Swing  – Mood Swing – EP
UNKLE – Rabbit In Your Headlights  – Psyence Fiction
Frank Zappa – Mysterioso  – 200 Motels
Charles Mingus – The Chill of Death  – Let My Children Hear Music
Dandy Warhols – Sleep  – Thirteen Tales – Urban Bohemia

Stranger in a Strange Land 2010-05-15: The Slippery Slope by The Stranger on Mixcloud

~The Stranger
thestranger@earthling.net

The many worlds hypothesis is itself a slippery slope argument, in that it leads to infinity.

Day Five

The key players of the superteam are being contacted and assembled, a base of operations is being sought and priced from the rental guide, and we almost have a wicked sweet name to instill fear and awe into our foes. All the pieces of the plan are coming together, actually quite ahead of schedule. Which is bad. Because I carefully planned all of this shit using psychohistorical methodology and a slide ruler. This either means that I need to take a few days off and catch up on some other neglected projects, waste the time of some of the key players involved on busy work in order to get back on quantum quota, or send everyone but myself back in time about a week. But then there would be two of everybody and nobody around me. And I won’t get invited to anybody’s bangin’ dopplegänger parties…

Actually, I think I’ll just do what I always do in these situations. Get drunk and expect that everything will work out.

I found two lucky pennies today!

You may be asking yourself, (or me if you had any balls, which you don’t), “hey, why write all of this on your myspace page, if Mr. Mind is going to be able to see it? Fools! You don’t understand how radio works! Mr. Mind can (durdurdur) read minds, and since I have valuable knowledge involving the intricate and delicate timestream leading to his fiery hell-ish dominion, then I WANT to explain every one of my actions in painstaking detail. You may now be asking yourself, “B-whu?” Allow me to elucidate for some of the Tommy Turkeys in the room: Mr. Mind knows I wouldn’t be stupid enough to reveal my plans to such extent, but he also underestimates my every move. Therefore, if, he doesn’t expect me to do something that only I could be capable of doing knowing there’s no other way I wouldn’t do it, then it stands to reason that I have to do it. Understand now? If I’m revealing my plan on the internets, then they must be false informations. And if I’m willingly admitting that part of my plan is to plant such false informations on the internets in plain view, then it must really be the actual plan! Obviously, if its so clearly the actual plan, it can’t possibly be it, and should be disregarded.

Confused? Don’t worry. For all of you depending on me, be assured that everything I say on here is 100% true. Except for that. Or… was it? But seriously, it was. You can’t obviously believe that! How stupid are you? Where do you get off?

And my profile pic, (which the motaba seems to have rendered freakin’ impossible to remove), is actually growing on me. It brings me all sorts of joy and wonderment, just like videos of monkeys in tubes. It may be a subtle form of sick neurolinguistic programming designed to indoctrinate me into the Monster Society of Evil’s New World Obliteration (catchy, huh?), but my hatred for Mr. Mind hasn’t subdued at all. Even if I do like the new gif, and even if the motaba has doomed all attempted contact from SPAM profiles to horrendous unspeakable destruction, I still want to grind the pissant little insect under my size-eleven steel-toeds. When I think of all of the horrific ways in which I had to watch my friends and colleagues perish in the future nightmare world of– OOH! Lookit! A fox with his guts all splayed out on the road! That was a good one! Hahahahahahaha! I dint see that one afore! Hooee. Ah. aheh. What was I talking about?

I forgot to end-quotes somewhere a ways back. Well, better late than never.”

I ask too much

I ask too much of myself, of others, and of reality. I ask too many questions in general. Generally, I ask too much.

Are thoughts something physical, do they exist without the mind, are they sent to us from some place besides the mind, or do they exist only because we do? Are thoughts simple cells of the brain stimulated with electrical currents leaping from synapse to synapse, dendrites twittering rapidly like birds in heat? Or are thoughts independent of the mind, corporeal forms that remain long after our physical brain has decayed and returned to the matter whence it came?

What is time? Is it an illusion of a series of still images placed over our eyes to tell us that we exist in a single timeline moving forward at some arbitrarily divided measurement system? Does all of time happen within one instant, or is all of reality as we perceive it with no distractions, with no loopholes, with no catches, with no deception?

Is there only one universe, or are there an infinite number of them for all eternity, and how would we know the difference? More scarily, how would we be able to tell the difference between a world dictated by the edicts of free will and one of predetermination? How would we tell the difference between a universe with God and one without Him? And if there is a God, and we were conceived by His mind, shouldn’t our minds have the ability to understand at least part of him, to realize him and conceive him as He conceived us? Is there a collective consciousness, and if so, then I go back to the question of the infinite universes…

If there is such a thing as infinity, then how can two doppelgangers, one evil and one good, exist when one would have to go to hell and one would have to go to heaven? Do they negate each other? Would your evil (or good) twin cancel you out? Where would you go? In an infinite system, there must be no limitations, stipulations, regulations or barriers. Every scenario must and shall be played out, meaning that there must be an infinite number of universes and timelines that directly and incontrovertibly contradict each other into nothingness, as would all of infinity be?

If there is no afterlife, then what is that void? You cannot picture blackness, because that is something, you cannot picture space, because that is something, a black hole is still something, you brain in a jar in the Matrix is still something, and heavenly clouds are still something and what you see when you close your eyes is still something, as is the wolf from the Neverending Story.

And a mathematical paradox occurs to me, infinity and nothingness are semantic opposites, mathematical principles expressed in symbols because they are so abstract that our finite minds cannot understand them in entirety. But it is also logical to say that zero infinity because zero can cancel out infinity, and perhaps that the two are inexorably intertwined, are, perhaps, synonymous? Are they also synonymous with God? All things that we have no solid tactile concept for…

How can you prove/disprove infinity? How can you prove/disprove nothingness? How can you prove/disprove God?

It all answers one question easily, however, and that is the question of why I haven’t been able to sleep restfully for days.