Mortal humans bore me so.
I honestly believe that people become less and less interesting as they grow older. In elementary school, everyone is gross and weird and unique and cool. Then some of them straighten up in middle school to the standards that they believe will get them the most social acceptance and least ridicule. The same goes for high school, but then there’s also the opposite sex and prospective colleges to worry about. And so many once fascinating creatures that made it that long into university, then staunchly reform for the suitable and formal job market, go corporate, and allow their inner child to atrophy. If they’re boring and lucky enough, then they’ll get enough boring corporate endorsements to make it big, and boring social acceptance to be renowned for being socially acceptable, and get boring promotions and meet a boring partner and build a boring life with a boring family and non-noteworthy events in predictable settings wholly and utterly without adventure, whimsy, absurdity, awesomeness or weirdness. They won’t get interesting again until they’re so old that shitting their pants is no longer an embarrassing prospect.
Nonexistent friend requests are emailed to me in droves on a nearly daily basis, from women with exotic and enticing names like ‘Phillis’ and ‘Agatha’.. whoo man! Break out the Geritol and the Vicks Vaporub, Agatha and Phillis are coming over to read detective fiction and play CANASTA! Alas, women as ideal as this do not exist, as evidenced by the stubborn inability of the Myspace inbox and the notifications it sends to my regular email to corroborate.