Sounds made up.

Things are so hectic right now. Not only do I have work every day at six am, but I have to get the rest of my stuff boxed up, read six or seven books, write out some plot synopses, finish off this roll of film, defeat an arch-foe or two, fill out this sketchbook, do the laundry, find an apartment, and our Revengerists Compound was bombarded sometime last night by dreaded space Cosbium-14. And I can’t shower today because my dad is grouting.

But tomorrow I am going to the zoo. The same zoo where a tiger escaped and killed a man, where a snow leopard and a polar bear almost escaped in the past week. Since it most likely won’t get published by the several newpapers I submitted it to, here is the article I wrote (unedited in blog form) concerning the tiger. I want to reiterate: we don’t get mad a pie for being delicious.

I had a dream the night of the attack, long before I could know of it, that a tiger escaped from the zoo. But at the end of that dream, I was eaten alive by a hippopotamus. Then I come to find out that the contractors who fucked up the tiger thing are also responsible for the grizzly bears and the hippos. A hippo has a vertical leap of twenty-eight inches. We’ll all see what happens.

Also: If a baby giraffe runs into a wall and kills itself, then that baby giraffe did not deserve to live. Giraffes are lame. End of story.

NOTE to Future-Breshvic: This Cosbium thing might have put us into an alternate timeline and gang aft agley all our best laid plans. I don’t remember anything being made mention of it when I was in the future, but maybe it was just such a minor setback it wasn’t worth mentioning. Then again, maybe our timelines are so far removed from the ethos of psychohistory that you and I shall never meet, in fact, are DOOMED. Questions. Comments. Concerns. An ashtray. And a paddle ball game. Remote Control. These Matches. And this lamp. And the chair. And my dog.


2 responses to “Sounds made up.

  1. Y’see, the thing about JELL-O pudd’n an’ Kodak is… just fuckin’ with you.

    Nope. Can’t remember anything about Cosbium. Then again, in my timeline, we didn’t start a Revengerists Consortium of Stuff until it was too late, so now that you’re so far ahead of the game maybe this Cosbium thing won’t make much of a difference. Maybe it will. Just think on your Hi-tops.

    Enjoy the zoo tomorrow. And don’t worry too much about the hippos. I would stay away from the Aviary if I were you, and I am.

  2. You really need to stop going into the future. But how can we since we are always constantly going into the future? Well it is the present but it WAS the future…or is it will be? How can the future be the past? Wear the suspenders of oblivion and bask in omniscience. OMNI-SCIENCE? Holy shit.

    Also: Vegeta.

    That is all.

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