It’s week six going on seven here in Gothamania, (we really should do something about that sort of thing), and I have to somehow pull three pieces of remarkable video quality and skill out of my ass (which in of itself would be quality and skill, just not in any video production field), by Tuesday. I realized a while back that Doug is not really nearly as intimidating as early-quarter students are led to believe. Maybe it was the point when he was giggling at Steve’s birdcalls, maybe I’m just used to the ‘tude, equal parts Elwood Blues and Judd Nelson, maybe it wavered when my sincere interest in the school did, I don’t know. All I know is, as I was showing him what little footage I had for Senior Project, I did feel oddly ill at ease. And I’ll tell you why: At some point in the career of a video student at GAA, he goes from being intimidating with eyebrows of justice and folded arms to “I’m not mad, just disappointed.” And that doesn’t really get to me either, having built up such an immunity of it from Catholic parents. Now, however, it’s what Doug REPRESENTS that bothers me, I think. He is the final say, (well, not the FINAL say, but a pretty decent say) on who graduates, on portfolios, on if you deserve to enter that world of Broadcast Engineers on general principle or not. I look at all the professors, in fact, and see these people with skills and connections I don’t have or even want and they are what happens to graduates in ten-twenty years’ time. I don’t think I need or want that. But they don’t have a school for whatever it is I’m looking for, though I suppose I should figure out what that is before I make that kind of statement.

My kitchen is in disarray, and this time not a single bit of it is my fault. There’s a weird smell and I’ve been using styrafoam plates and plasticware for weeks. Just venting, that’s all. When did ‘stating facts’ and ‘complaining’ become one and the same?

By the way, Livejournal. Did I mention that I quit drinking?


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