Less people are scrutinising you than you may think…

I was surprised to discover this quite some time ago. I realize it again now as I sit in a computer lab writing on Livejournal and alternately (or alternatively) reading http://www.dieselsweeties.com .

That being said, I’ve found that a few other people may need to know it, too.

And I’m going to continue to believe it until some unmarked white government van pulls up and puts me in a sack and demands to know why I don’t floss regularly, use my teeth to trim my nails, and why I spend so much time in the bathroom *anyways*. (Hey, you don’t keep long, beautiful hair without a little work, you know). I’ll ask the government agents ‘what, exactly, is it to them?’ And then they’ll say that they keep regular tabs on everyone, and that they ARE scrutinising you as much as you may think. Dozens of hundred of them. Like telemarketers, but slightly more judgmental. And with nicer headsets. ‘Cuz I did the telemarketer thing and let me tell you, you can’t hear shit. So if the government uses those then they aren’t getting much accomplished. Patriot Act it up, then. Then the government agent will tell me that I’ve been rambling again and I’ll apologize and he’ll tell me that I have a history of going into such tangents, least of which being on livejournal, and also that I sometimes apologize for things that I don’t need to, and I’ll apologize for this. Then they’ll tell me to stop eating fried food, to stop being so caustic to my friends, that if I skip another class unwarranted ‘I’m really going to get it,’ and who the fuck do I think I am wearing a Hawaiian shirt, because I was only there for three years. They’ll kick me out of the back of the van near an unfamiliar Dairy Queen, and I’ll go inside to get some Sherbet. But I’ll think twice about toppings, and I’ll look around nervously as I turn down the second scoop.

Until that happens, I think its safe to say that when people ask me where I’ve been all night, or *who* I’ve been with all night, or where exactly my money goes, I can just tell them Nunya.

Nunya Biznazz!


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