Al Pacino is the devil.
Bob Barker is a vampire.
Dick Clark is a Highlander.
Robert Zemeckis is from the future.
The Olsens are clonelings.
Larry King reads my thoughts.
Edward Norton is an agent of the Matrix.
Haley Joel Osment was created by Margaret Keane.
John Kerry is from beyond the grave.
Al Gore is a robot.
Lindsay Lohan is a dude. I swear.
And Christina Ricci is an alien.
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