So I have this Professional Development dealie due in, like, two hours, which is fine because I procrastinated and spent most of the hours I was supposed to be IN Professional Development skipping off to the bar to drink yuengling or down to the river to smoke pot. Curse those hooligans and their peer pressure. I mean, twist my arm and all, but really now, how am I supposed to develop professionally when I’m too busy developing irony. I guess it’s not that bad, considering, I made some money writing other peoples’ Ethics papers for them a while back. That was… um… un-something-or-other.
But what I was trying to get at was that it doesn’t matter now because I got up early and everything for once (there’s an eight A.M. now?) and I haven’t had to do that for at least two semesters, as I haven’t even taken a morning class in like five semesters, and the school was good enough to offer free donuts and hot chocolate this morning, which was a plus, but the student server is somehow disconnected to all the computers! So my only alternative is to go down to the library and watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ because, yeah, I know I’m lame, but it’s most likely the best Goddamned Christmas movie ever made, and I haven’t seen it all year, will probably miss it when its on TV, and its an allowed part of the non-bastardized seasonal canon.
Other points I wish to make, as I am in a hurry.
1. Red Seal Ale is fuckin’ sweet. I hadn’t had it before. It goes especially well with my usual rum-and-coke, or as I call it, oxygen.
2. Lee is twenty-one, refer to number one. This is good, but it may be cutting into my funds pretty soon. Which reminds me;
3. When was the last time I got to go see LaserFloyd?
4. Vince Guaraldi kicks straight ass, yo. So does Miles Davis, but that has very little to do with Christmas, now.
5. My knee is killing me.
6. Each member of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra deserves a punch to the face. They’re everywhere! Goddammit, they’re more proliferate than Dee Snider! Jesus!
7. Sure, I take the Lord’s name in vain, but I know him well enough.
8. I failed a class, which will make my parents unhappy, but I was also unsatisfied with my competency of the work, and thus wish to retake it anyways. TO HELP BETTER MANKIND!
9. I think I’ll drop acid over break. Wish me luck.
10. Next semester I have morning classes but no evening classes. I hope I can switch my sleep schedule. That is; I hope I can stop sleeping like fifteen hours at a time. Maybe I should have that looked at.
11. Lists that end in ten are cop-outs.
I don’t even read this crap.
Hashmeer: Blade, listen to thait.
Blade: Okay, what?
Hashmeer: I’m going to the doctorate, right?
Blade: Mmm Hmm?
Hashmeer: And my– and he’s telling me I haive this problem
weef my fronthead, when I’m touching it it does like thait:
Blade: Oh, Crapshaitt!
Hashmeer: Oh daim!
Blade: You and I mowst haive been drinking
out of the saime cup, you know?
Hashmeer: We daid.
Blade: Because, when I haive a saime problem, weef a laidie,
she goes to towch the testiclides,
and it maikes a sounde laike thais:
Hashmeer: Oh, that is sounding like the saime sound
owf my fronthead laike thais:
Blade: Oh, crowtch, the saime as your fronthead laike thais!:
Hashmeer: You mean laike thais?: