Zombie King and I are fuckin’ weird. There’s no denying it.

Come the first day of summer, I had wanted to go with my friends to the point and have a picnic. I bought all the food in advance, and then organized a bunch of people and wanted to go. But it rained. So that sucked.

So yesterday, when the news told me that it was the last day of summer, I felt the need to get that picnic in. The Zombie King liked the idea, but had an amendment, he said that we covertly buy all our picnic fixins, then arrive at Jacob and Lindsay’s house and yell “PICNIC ATTACK!”

I belted Jacob in the mouth with a piece of watermelon.

So we all went out to Grandview, watched the sunset, bullshat, ate, smoked, and had a generally good and memorable time.

Later that night, the Zombie King and I were driving Jerry home. I turned and asked them what they were doing the next day, Jerry said he had to work, but the Zombie King had nothing. So we made ourselves a roadtrip to White Castle. That’s right, a two-hour trip, all because Zombie King had never had them.

Two days ago, Professor Madness dragged us to the mall, thankfully, though it was just to get him a new phone. But it took me back to my childhood when I was an avid mallrat. Mall math is something that has to be ingrained into you through years of worship to the Gods of consumerism, design, capitalism, marketability… Math meaning that if the Hot Topics is at B7, and the Banana Republic is on G8, and there are TWO K-B toys in the vicinity, then the Orange Julius will be delicious! Zombie King had never had one of those, either, as he eschewed the mall as a child.

I feel good today.

But sadly, New Orleans (and Texas also I hear) is expecting more hurricane activity. I pray to whatever there is out there that will listen, that the people there remain unharmed.

The president can’t afford another fuckup. Not on the same ground he neglected before, not on his own home turf. He isn’t looking for reelection but he should be worried about his approval rating for his tenure and to try and get a suitable replacement elected. His math goes something like this: Approval Rating=Troops in Iraq > Threatened Texans > Boat-Owning Key West Inhabitants > Neglected Poor Southern Blacks > Mexicans.


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