My Life is Like the Sims

So I wanted to go to home for the holidays, but like Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, or like Jonathon Taylor Thomas in whatever crappy holiday movie he was in, I was prevented from doing so. Because of a blizzard, I was stuck within the Greyhound system for TWENTY FOUR HOURS between when I stepped in the Pittsbugh station to when I stepped out of the Cincinnati station. I won’t tell you what happened in between, because I could fill a book with it. The good thing is I was able to steal passage from Columbus to Cincinnati because the guy didn’t charge me for it and nobody checked. Suckas!

Reason my life is like the Sims #1: My mood meters are very volatile.

Once in Cincinnati, I was able to see my family, my dearest friends, and then, of course, my parents. I saw Fat Albert, went back to Columbus with my aunt, and stayed a night with my older cousin, who is kickass! We ate at Cheeseburger in Paradise, then played X-Men Legends until we were sick with lack of sleep. Then I came back home to make sure my cat was still alive, and this past New Year’s weekend was spent NOT drinking because my parents came up. I don’t mind, they bought me groceries and cleaned my apartment and did a bunch of repairs to stuff that was broken when I got the place. It’s sort of a love/hate relationship, as God intended. He said to honor and love your parents, he didn’t say you had to like them.

Reason my life is like the Sims #2: Everyone got me chocolates, even though I do not particularly like chocolates.

Now I have this sort of thing going on with the girl who is sort of seeing another guy even though she professes to hate him, she melts whenever he walks in the room. How can I compete with melting!? Either way, it makes me jealous. So jealous that the little spinning diamond over my head turns red and then I start speaking gibberish about Simoleans.

Reason my life is like the Sims #3: It makes me so jealous that the little spinning diamond over my head turns red and then I start speaking gibberish about Simoleans.

I am still waiting for school to start, still trying to find a job, and still waiting for most of Pittsburgh friends to get back from out of town. My social meter is way down today, but thanks to my parents, my hunger meter is WAY UP!!

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One response to “My Life is Like the Sims

  1. Pingback: Status Impossible « Absurdist Noir

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