Boxes… so… many.. boxes…

I have been packing. I know I will be moving in six weeks and I guess I’m freaking out. It means that the shitty one room efficiency that has been my home for the last couple years will pass into the hands of some crackhead or junkie. When we first moved here, I was leaning against the sink to put some socks on, (I know it sounds weird but the bathroom is about five feet by five feet so that’s the only way to do it) and out from behind the pipes comes an envelope with a needle and a spoon in it. And the damage done. Wedged up in there was a first-aid kit full of spent lighters, hypos, plastic baggies, metal spoons, and oddly enough a plastic one. So you can see what kind of freaks must inhabit this wonderful neighborhood of mine. And that’s just one of many fantastic stories I have concerning this old home of mine. Yeah, I’ll miss it. And my cat will have no clue what the hell is going on, either. So I have been putting all the stuff I don’t use on a regular basis in boxes to ship out. Boxing.. taping.. labeling.. repeat.. its oh so monotonous..

Now for a station break:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO WASTE GOOD, HONEST, HARD EARNED MONEY ON useless SMILEYS!?! ARE YOU WILLING TO DOWNLOAD potentially harmful and or corrosive SOFTWARE ONTO YOUR COMPUTER without your knowledge or legal consent, THAT WILL GENERATE MORE ADS AND SOLICITATIONS FOR THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER BUY!?

SMILEYS CAN BRIGHTEN YOU DAY!! SMILEYS CAN… uh… they can… SMILE!! SOME OF THEM MAY OR MAY NOT BE ANIMATED, DEPENDING ON THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU SEND US, AND nothing IS GUARANTEED!! YOUR LIFE WILL BE TEN MILLION TIMES BETTER IF YOU HAVE 7,000 FREE SMILEYS!! (in addition to the 8,000,000 we will charge you for) EVERYONE ELSE HAS THEM. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN’T!!! YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE IS LESS THAN THAT OF THE AVERAGE PERSON WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE 7,000 SMILEYS!!

GIVE US MONEY NOW!!! IT’S YOUR ONLY HOPE OF SURVIVAL WHEN THE SMILEYS TAKE OVER!! SHOW THE SMILEY OVERLORD THAT YOU ARE ONE WITH THEIR CAUSE! SELL OUT YOUR FRIENDS TO THE INVADING HOARDS AND NOT ONLY WILL THEY SPARE YOUR LIFE, BUT THEY WILL ALSO ROLL BACK PRICES DRESSED IN VARIOUS COSTUMES!! THEY SMILE AT EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPY! AND EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT THEY KILL IT WITH THEIR LAZERS!! YAY!

*by reading this message you are consenting to an agreement whereby you are legally obligated to send us a ridiculous amount of your paycheck every month and in return we will provide you with a service that includes bombardment of your computer with banner ads, pop-ups and spyware that will make your internet connection slow and unbeleivably unproductive.

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